


Melancholic

by hopelesslywanderlust



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, First Order, ben has issues, but don’t we all?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelesslywanderlust/pseuds/hopelesslywanderlust
Summary: Ben Solo is troubled by his past, which makes it a problem for Rey’s future.





	Melancholic

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I’m back with a new fic for a different fandom! I really love the dynamic between these two characters, but sometimes I struggle to see the romanticism that is so popular (I know, I’m sorry). Kylo specifically is a very intriguing character with all of his emotional complexity. This is based off of a short poem (in the bold italics) I found on tumblr a while back that really struck a chord with me. I hope you’ll enjoy it!

_**Tempted by his chaos** _

She had felt it for the longest time now. So long it was as though it had become an integral part of her. It gnawed at the edges of her psyche. It felt as though the pull became stronger with every heartbeat. Images of the boy behind the Stoney mask, the one with the sad eyes and broody expression, haunted her. It was something about him that forced her to question all that she had known. She walked an increasingly taut fine line, swaying dangerously close to falling off, into the abyss of the unknown. All because of him.

**Found beauty in his tragedy**

_Trapped_. There is nothing more heartbreaking and disturbing than being held prisoner inside the confines of one’s own mind. Trapped within the constant regret. The incessant longing. For what was. For what never will be. For love. For affirmation. For _power_.

_**Love the monster, not his sins** _

“You’re a monster.”

“I am a monster.”

A confused expression took hold of the girl. Was he admitting to it? He looked troubled even. She could sense the storm inside him raging stronger than ever. He could be swayed, by Luke, or by her.

“Has he told you what happened?” He asked smugly, his features once again carved from stone. But in that moment, what he had done didn’t matter because he could be saved. He could return to the light. There could be an end to all this if only she could get through to him.

_**Just his melancholy** _

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It’s the only way to become who you’re meant to be.”

It couldn’t be more clear to Rey that Ben was not willing to let the past die, no matter how great a speech he was about to give her. No, he was running from it. All the artifice and grandeur that made up Kylo Ren, the faceless mask, the dark silhouette, they were a way of hiding from his troubled past. A rebellion of his own against the betrayal he felt from the ones who really truly loved him.

Much like herself - although she would never admit it - Ben too was desperate for some connection, _any_ connection.

However, his sad eyes and pleading voice would not be enough to make her turn from her own path. She would aid the Resistance in destroying the First Order, and she would do it with or without him.

Rey was so sure that she could save him from himself, but as she had learned from Luke, some people are beyond saving, and some decisions one must make for themselves. Ben had suffered under the horrible influence of Snoke his entire life, now he must learn to stand on his own, by himself, for himself.

She saw the same spark in him that she saw within herself. Some of the same disdain. If only he could truly let the past die, or even accept it, Ben Solo could be _saved_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos, or both, if you enjoyed! I love hearing from you all! Thanks for reading!


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